Month: May 2015

What actually matters.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

At one point at the beginning of your journey in seeking for His blessings I believe you have this kind of spirit that could burn the sky, and this urge to invite everyone you love to have a taste of loving Him. At least I experienced it.

But of course, Jannah is not cheap, and only those who are really striving for it deserve it. On this road, not everyone is willing to face the challenges, and sometimes in the end, the only thing that you can do is to pray for them who opt to take another route.

I had the pleasure of sitting together with a friend over a dinner. From talking about their local food, the conversation shifted to how their student community is here. Frankly speaking we are not even close, but she is this type of person that makes you feel comfortable to open up to her. She comes from a country with a non-Muslim majority, and here in Turkey, majority of their students are Muslims.  She mentioned that the student body has just recently started making halaqah groups for their students in all provinces in Turkey. I asked how their halaqah is, what is included and whatnots, and she explained. Her group is handled by 3 sisters who are studying post-graduate in several branches of Islamic Studies. It was not the first time I hang out with her, and I know a bit of her background. She comes from a family with a strong religious background which quite explains her, she spent a part of her studying years in religious schools and really, her akhlaq is admirable.

To my surprise, however, she admitted her inability to express her thoughts and opinions in their session, like how this certain verse touches her, and how this verse makes her feel like this and that. She just can’t. Even in the halaqah in her previous schools she faced the same issue. But at the end, she said that the only thing she is able to do is by expressing through akhlaq.

Good akhlaq is what we are lacking nowadays. Akhlaq covers many aspects such as the way we speak, the way we dress, what we talk about, and many others, including, in this modern age, what we post on social media. Akhlaq is what makes the da’wah spreads effectively, because good akhlaq builds trust. Whatever you are trying to prove and whatever it is that you are trying to preach to people, without good akhlaq, it will never touch any heart, because what is in your heart will be reflected through your akhlaq, and only a good heart can touch other hearts.

The best example of such is of course our beloved Rasulullah SAW. With his akhlaq, he managed to leave his legacy of sahabah who inherited his akhlaq and further spread Islam until it ruled 2/3 of the world, and in the Surah Al-Ahzab : 21

There has certainly been for you in the Messenger of Allah an excellent pattern for anyone whose hope is in Allah and the Last Day and [who] remembers Allah often.

In the end, it’s your akhlaq that counts.

Taking time.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

I can’t believe that it’s already my 8th month here. Time flies so fast. And after 3 months, I’m currently dealing with the same issue. I can’t count how many times I woke up in the morning feeling frustrated and useless. Instilling istiqamah in yourself is not an easy task.

In all honesty I still find Istanbul hard to cope sometimes. I’m used to the laid-back life of Brunei, while here I have to catch almost everything from the shuttle service, bus, meal and many others. My time needs to be adjusted according to several schedules, unlike in Brunei where I only need to tell my father/brothers/sisters a few hours in advance that I have something going on at this particular hour, and being late a minute or two was not a problem, and leftover food is almost always available.

But Istanbul is not the only issue. Being the first and only Bruneian, I don’t have any experienced Bruneian senior that I can refer to about adjusting my life here. I don’t have anyone to share one common ground with that specify us as Bruneian, like the longing for Nasi Katok, discussion on how the implementation of hudud is going, the craving for ambuyat with cacah binjai, or what news currently trending on Whatsapp.

And to make it worse, I’m moving on from school to university. Life was easy with the fixed schedule and specific set of clothing (read : uniform) and certain achievements that needs to be attained. Now, one hour of the morning is wasted just on choosing what to wear to class. And with only 5 hour of lesson everyday in a foreign land, the urgency to fill the other 19 hours is giving me mental-block.

However, every day I learn something new,something that no educational institution can fit in their syllabus. And after some times I realised that changes need not to be fast, and it’s alright to take time according to what you are able to do. Self-improvement is neither something that happens overnight, nor does it something that has a limit. It is an ongoing process. What matters the most is a change that lasts.