I can’t believe that it’s already my 8th month here. Time flies so fast. And after 3 months, I’m currently dealing with the same issue. I can’t count how many times I woke up in the morning feeling frustrated and useless. Instilling istiqamah in yourself is not an easy task.
In all honesty I still find Istanbul hard to cope sometimes. I’m used to the laid-back life of Brunei, while here I have to catch almost everything from the shuttle service, bus, meal and many others. My time needs to be adjusted according to several schedules, unlike in Brunei where I only need to tell my father/brothers/sisters a few hours in advance that I have something going on at this particular hour, and being late a minute or two was not a problem, and leftover food is almost always available.
But Istanbul is not the only issue. Being the first and only Bruneian, I don’t have any experienced Bruneian senior that I can refer to about adjusting my life here. I don’t have anyone to share one common ground with that specify us as Bruneian, like the longing for Nasi Katok, discussion on how the implementation of hudud is going, the craving for ambuyat with cacah binjai, or what news currently trending on Whatsapp.
And to make it worse, I’m moving on from school to university. Life was easy with the fixed schedule and specific set of clothing (read : uniform) and certain achievements that needs to be attained. Now, one hour of the morning is wasted just on choosing what to wear to class. And with only 5 hour of lesson everyday in a foreign land, the urgency to fill the other 19 hours is giving me mental-block.
However, every day I learn something new,something that no educational institution can fit in their syllabus. And after some times I realised that changes need not to be fast, and it’s alright to take time according to what you are able to do. Self-improvement is neither something that happens overnight, nor does it something that has a limit. It is an ongoing process. What matters the most is a change that lasts.