A lot can happen in one year, let alone in ten.

 

At the end of 2009, I was 13. It was the beginning of the most exciting time of my life. The past ten years went by really fast, filled with achievements, failures and many life lessons that I carry with me now. It was the decade of constant changes and major life events, the decade of transitioning, from childhood to adulthood.  I honestly don’t know where to start. There’s just so many things I want to say, cramming 10 years into a short piece of writing feels impossible. 

I somehow never mentioned this anywhere here in my blog, I got married when I was 20. At that time, I really felt like I was ready for it, like I was old and mature enough to venture into a marriage. Three years later now, I admit that I was indeed young. Honestly however, it was not a wrong decision and I wouldn’t have it any other way. You might have come across a quote somewhere on the internet about every one of us has a different timeline, yknow, that sort of stuff. I arrived at that stage of life earlier (ticked all the boxes for a family unit even) than most of my peers. But unlike most of my friend, I am still slightly far from finishing my degree.

I used to dread the thought of having several years left to finish my study while all my friends was already so close to getting their scrolls, but that was something in the past. It took me some time to make peace with it and just enjoy the process, wherever life was bringing me. Our life does operate on different timelines. All of us have our very own rezeki Allah has reserved for us. We only need to be grateful and content when they come knocking at our door, and cherish them as long as they are still in our hands for us to benefit from.

From there, I have learnt that whatever happens in our life, 99.9% of the time there is some benefits of it for us, in spite of how miserable it may make us feel. There’s always goodness waiting for us down the road. We only have to trust Him, that one day He will make things get better.

The time is fleeting. The worst days will pass, and you will heal eventually. That is one lesson I have learnt about time. Time is probably all we need to make things better. When life doesn’t make sense now, trust me, it will make sense eventually. You may put whatever amount of things and efforts to work it out, but just like a cake, it’s gonna take some time in the oven before it turns into something we can enjoy.

This life is a long, long journey. It’s not all rainbows and roses, sometimes it’s storms and thorns. Many things will turn up uninvited, but we have to welcome them anyway with whatever greeting we deem suitable, even a slam on the door if you will. It might go away, it might stay. It will shake you to the core, just like that time when I was unsure about my life after being very sure of what I wanted to do since I was 15.

Changes are uncomfortable, but so is a stagnant life. Seize the power to leave things in the past. Sometimes we have to let go of the comfort of familiarity for something better, for a new outlook on life. It’s probably scary sometimes to change. ‘What if so-and-so won’t like me anymore?’ you might ask yourself. The fear of abandonment is real, but always put yourself first and foremost. Always go to wherever your heart finds everlasting peace.

I am 23 now, and I am grateful for who I am today, for the lessons that I’ve learnt and also for everyone I have in my life. A thousand apologies to those who’ve known me since my cringey days hahahaha. I wish all of you the best in this life and the next.