Assalamu’alaikum wrt wbt.
Personally speaking, I think a lot. if only thinking did not require new experience to constantly reshape my view on something i’d be a statue by now. Apart from the huge differences it has with Brunei, Istanbul is a city full of surprises. The snow in my place was quite thick the other day, for example, and many more other things that have been bombarding me since the first day i came here.
Currently, im being tested with quite a complicated equation. Along the line i’m putting in factors, possibilities, causes, effects, consequences, outcomes and such and try to reason with myself.
Personally speaking, too, i’m actually afraid of making mistakes and i highly prefer perfection despite of not being a perfectionist. When things fall even slightly apart, i’ll panic like the world is ending and start apologising though actually there’s no big deal with that. when the guilt presents it burns me to ashes. i whisper to myself how stupid i am for making mistakes.
however, with the experiences and the constant thinking/reasoning i realised that i’m actually a normal human being, and human is quite well known to make mistake. i really forgot that i am a human being, not kidding.
im sure someone somewhere is encountering the same problem. we cant accept our weaknesses and start to curse ourselves when they surface now and then, and that is not healthy. we forgot that perfection doesnt exist in this temporary world.
im slowly trying to embrace that natural part of being human -making mistakes. it’s hard, but that’s just the fact.
Did you just screw something up? Congratulations, you are a normal human being.